








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2412 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2519 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2167 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2848 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,252,049 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Best CooperBunBun | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | >Silver Blondie< | 54% | 216 |
| #3 | No | 53% | 232 |
| #4 | ROOK | 52% | 269 |
| #5 | TheDyl | 52% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | >Silver Blondie< | 54% | 216 |
| #3 | No | 53% | 232 |
| #4 | ROOK | 52% | 269 |
| #5 | TheDyl | 52% | 235 |
| #6 | Best Panda Evah | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROOK | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | TheDyl | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | >Silver Blondie< | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | No | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Best Panda Evah | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROOK | 1862 | 0.32 | 47 min |
| #2 | TheDyl | 699 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | No | 353 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | >Silver Blondie< | 303 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Best CooperBunBun | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheDyl | +0.93 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | No | +0.69 | 49 | 52 |
| #3 | ROOK | +0.65 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | Best CooperBunBun | +0.28 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | Cwood | +0.17 | 65 | 51 |





