










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 844 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6349 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7680 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5813 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5317 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,993,874 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valementaja | 53% | 351 |
| #2 | matias | 53% | 461 |
| #3 | OPA | 49% | 391 |
| #4 | Hoppn'poppan | 49% | 164 |
| #5 | erqqi | 46% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nahkajuna | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | OPA | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | valementaja | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | erqqi | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | matias | 3 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OPA | 1443 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #2 | matias | 1189 | 0.12 | 38 min |
| #3 | Nahkajuna | 995 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #4 | erqqi | 757 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #5 | valementaja | 478 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1NQQYYY | +1.22 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Hoppn'poppan | +1.12 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | OPA | +0.64 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | matias | +0.64 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | valementaja | -0.56 | 54 | 65 |





