








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3669 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7345 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6826 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6044 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,548,371 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matias | 53% | 405 |
| #2 | 1NQQYYY | 53% | 351 |
| #3 | Hoppn'poppan | 53% | 180 |
| #4 | OPA | 50% | 352 |
| #5 | erqqi | 43% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nahkajuna | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | OPA | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | 1NQQYYY | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hoppn'poppan | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | matias | 3 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OPA | 1347 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | matias | 1148 | 0.13 | 36 min |
| #3 | Nahkajuna | 751 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #4 | 1NQQYYY | 698 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #5 | erqqi | 421 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1NQQYYY | +0.92 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Hoppn'poppan | +0.79 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | OPA | +0.78 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | matias | +0.62 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | valementaja | -0.39 | 53 | 65 |





