








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 25% |
| Smokes | 731 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,349 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kus magic | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Symm | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Jerry | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | stompernator | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | M4NG0 | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4NG0 | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mittens | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | stompernator | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jerry | 30 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | kus magic | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | +6.00 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | Mittens | +5.33 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | Symm | +5.27 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Kazaxc | +3.50 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | kus magic | +0.19 | 44 | 49 |





