








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 2% |
| Smokes | 105 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 173 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 57% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,542 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omega Astra | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Kami | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Dom | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Symm | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Freaky Man | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | stompernator | 26% | 19 |
| #9 | M4NG0 | 26% | 61 |
| #10 | kus magic | 17% | 12 |
| #11 | Kazaxc | 17% | 12 |
| #12 | aw3man | 0% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mittens | 296 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | M4NG0 | 113 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kazaxc | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | stompernator | 31 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Freaky Man | 31 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazaxc | +5.52 | 84 | 77 |
| #2 | Mittens | +4.94 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | Freaky Man | +4.64 | 89 | 49 |
| #4 | Dom | +2.83 | 82 | 43 |
| #5 | Symm | +1.39 | 60 | 49 |





