








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 58 | 7% |
| Smokes | 268 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 416 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,048 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKrullen | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Me and 4 animals | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Lille Pille | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | Gakza | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Me and 4 animals | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Lille Pille | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | Gakza | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | Quasimodo | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lille Pille | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me and 4 animals | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Quasimodo | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gakza | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lille Pille | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schlangeman | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lille Pille | +1.58 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | Me and 4 animals | +0.55 | 44 | 70 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | +0.19 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | iKrullen | +0.16 | 69 | 79 |
| #5 | Gakza | -0.27 | 28 | 70 |





