








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2733 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3452 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5038 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,332 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me and 4 animals | 55% | 124 |
| #2 | Lille Pille | 53% | 132 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | 49% | 199 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 42% | 131 |
| #5 | Valathorn | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lille Pille | 53% | 132 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | 49% | 199 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 42% | 131 |
| #5 | Valathorn | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | iKrullen | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me and 4 animals | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Lille Pille | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | iKrullen | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quasimodo | 419 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Me and 4 animals | 306 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Schlangeman | 261 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lille Pille | 172 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | iKrullen | 97 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lille Pille | +1.27 | 65 | 60 |
| #2 | Quasimodo | +0.51 | 45 | 72 |
| #3 | Me and 4 animals | +0.31 | 47 | 73 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | -0.40 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Gakza | -0.94 | 23 | 70 |





