








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4446 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5756 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5663 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4672 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,529 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me and 4 animals | 53% | 180 |
| #2 | iKrullen | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Lille Pille | 51% | 173 |
| #4 | Gakza | 49% | 199 |
| #5 | Schlangeman | 47% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | iKrullen | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Lille Pille | 51% | 173 |
| #4 | Gakza | 49% | 199 |
| #5 | Schlangeman | 47% | 181 |
| #6 | Valathorn | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gakza | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Me and 4 animals | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Schlangeman | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Lille Pille | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | iKrullen | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me and 4 animals | 442 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Schlangeman | 360 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gakza | 340 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Lille Pille | 195 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | iKrullen | 130 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lille Pille | +1.01 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | Quasimodo | +0.30 | 48 | 72 |
| #3 | iKrullen | -0.07 | 68 | 75 |
| #4 | Me and 4 animals | -0.24 | 47 | 71 |
| #5 | Schlangeman | -0.56 | 71 | 70 |





