








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3383 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3378 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3862 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2451 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,272 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKrullen | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Schlangeman | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Gakza | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | Quasimodo | 53% | 180 |
| #5 | Valathorn | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schlangeman | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Gakza | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | Quasimodo | 53% | 180 |
| #5 | Valathorn | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Lille Pille | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gakza | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Lille Pille | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | iKrullen | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quasimodo | 340 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Schlangeman | 245 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lille Pille | 218 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gakza | 216 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | iKrullen | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lille Pille | +1.01 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | iKrullen | +0.70 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | Quasimodo | +0.32 | 51 | 71 |
| #4 | Schlangeman | -0.19 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Me and 4 animals | -0.47 | 45 | 71 |





