








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2861 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1544 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 782 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,675,211 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Shotgun | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Cousin Greg | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | ⛧Christ Of Waltz | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Wimmas四川 | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | Goldfist_CN | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ⛧Christ Of Waltz | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Wimmas四川 | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | Goldfist_CN | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | FluffyxBlanket | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | Tambo 外国王者 | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Mr Shotgun | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Wimmas四川 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Goldfist_CN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | FluffyxBlanket | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | 210 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | FluffyxBlanket | 173 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Goldfist_CN | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tambo 外国王者 | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wimmas四川 | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | +3.29 | 68 | 83 |
| #2 | Wimmas四川 | +2.16 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | Tambo 外国王者 | +0.48 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | FluffyxBlanket | +0.11 | 55 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr Shotgun | -0.46 | 61 | 54 |





