








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7049 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7433 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7308 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6700 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,738,836 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3D[dfs] | 54% | 183 |
| #2 | Monstro | 53% | 167 |
| #3 | TheWrathsGhost | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | empulseve | 50% | 311 |
| #5 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 45% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3D[dfs] | 54% | 183 |
| #2 | Monstro | 53% | 167 |
| #3 | TheWrathsGhost | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | empulseve | 50% | 311 |
| #5 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 45% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | empulseve | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | T3D[dfs] | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Monstro | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | TheWrathsGhost | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monstro | 609 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | T3D[dfs] | 375 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | empulseve | 341 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | TheWrathsGhost | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 10 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZPQC | +5.26 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | T3D[dfs] | -0.70 | 48 | 67 |
| #3 | TheWrathsGhost | -2.01 | 30 | 31 |
| #4 | empulseve | -2.13 | 41 | 45 |
| #5 | Monstro | -3.01 | 40 | 59 |





