








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6080 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6743 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2383 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 5092 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,579,406 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rack-Aid | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | ZPQC | 53% | 167 |
| #3 | T3D[dfs] | 52% | 156 |
| #4 | TheWrathsGhost | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | empulseve | 49% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ZPQC | 53% | 167 |
| #3 | T3D[dfs] | 52% | 156 |
| #4 | TheWrathsGhost | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | empulseve | 49% | 225 |
| #6 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 44% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZPQC | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | empulseve | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Rack-Aid | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | T3D[dfs] | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Pickled Red Beet Egg | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZPQC | 547 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | T3D[dfs] | 329 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | empulseve | 292 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rack-Aid | 228 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheWrathsGhost | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZPQC | +6.68 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | Rack-Aid | +1.98 | 49 | 66 |
| #3 | T3D[dfs] | +0.57 | 49 | 68 |
| #4 | TheWrathsGhost | -0.92 | 31 | 25 |
| #5 | Monstro | -1.24 | 43 | 59 |





