








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 988 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1230 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2146 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 928 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,642,420 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 610 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | HaseAufSpeed | 42% | 59 |
| #8 | Pingaxx | 40% | 108 |
| #9 | Natal | 36% | 44 |
| #10 | Maksik1ng | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILSN | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Pingaxx | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Hensch | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Maksik1ng | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Natal | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingaxx | 346 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ILSN | 235 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | missGülfi | 168 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hensch | 105 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |





