








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 664 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3936 | 14% |
| Smokes | 9001 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 8768 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5715 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,013,122 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hensch | 282 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♠Spades♠ | 246 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Natal | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | ILSN | 181 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 169 | 0.08 | 5 min |





