








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1332 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,280 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grish | 50% | 121 |
| #2 | Tuboras | 49% | 159 |
| #3 | nuljake | 49% | 149 |
| #4 | ropsutin | 48% | 170 |
| #5 | Kongeli | 48% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tuboras | 49% | 159 |
| #3 | nuljake | 49% | 149 |
| #4 | ropsutin | 48% | 170 |
| #5 | Kongeli | 48% | 148 |
| #6 | Venom1ze | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropsutin | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | nuljake | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kongeli | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Tuboras | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Grish | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuboras | 426 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Grish | 282 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | ropsutin | 267 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | nuljake | 91 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kongeli | 14 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuutio | +1.35 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Kongeli | +0.05 | 73 | 41 |
| #3 | Grish | -0.06 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | nuljake | -0.45 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | Tuboras | -0.53 | 55 | 67 |





