








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 470 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1649 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 863 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,805 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuutio | 49% | 149 |
| #2 | Grish | 48% | 140 |
| #3 | Tuboras | 47% | 167 |
| #4 | Kongeli | 47% | 155 |
| #5 | ropsutin | 47% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Grish | 48% | 140 |
| #3 | Tuboras | 47% | 167 |
| #4 | Kongeli | 47% | 155 |
| #5 | ropsutin | 47% | 184 |
| #6 | Venom1ze | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropsutin | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Tuboras | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kuutio | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Grish | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kongeli | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuboras | 454 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Grish | 313 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | ropsutin | 308 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kuutio | 127 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kongeli | 16 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuutio | +1.71 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Kongeli | +0.17 | 71 | 39 |
| #3 | Grish | -0.25 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Tuboras | -0.26 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | nuljake | -0.49 | 53 | 48 |





