








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2747 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2055 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2221 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,832 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnj | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | ☬Gioo | 87% | 31 |
| #3 | Pancho.∼︎∼ | 82% | 17 |
| #4 | ☭ Sperm1 | 82% | 17 |
| #5 | Zenith ☬ | 79% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Pipo ☬ | 58% | 12 |
| #16 | Andy,j | 54% | 26 |
| #17 | JAV | 52% | 21 |
| #18 | DjTotobal ^-^ | 45% | 31 |
| #19 | :3 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~sebastian ֎ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Zenith ☬ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | ☬Gioo | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ☭ Sperm1 | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 439 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | ~sebastian ֎ | 247 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zenith ☬ | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | DjTotobal ^-^ | 193 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | ☬Gioo | 184 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sky ☬ | +3.59 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Andy,j | +2.45 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Mathi | +2.43 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | ☬Gioo | +2.13 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Alaric Dell ☬ | +1.45 | 69 | 81 |





