








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3855 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2203 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3124 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 860 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,954 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | 𝙏𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 | 50% | 68 |
| #13 | Lapiru | 48% | 205 |
| #14 | PROMOTED | 45% | 29 |
| #15 | Chenn | 43% | 65 |
| #16 | Gurk 42 | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙏𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Lapiru | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Chenn | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Egg Yolk | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | St0rmb0rn™ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lapiru | 276 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | 𝙏𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 | 276 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Crankill | 199 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | St0rmb0rn™ | 173 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chenn | 170 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | +2.70 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | ✦ rezzi | +2.08 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | St0rmb0rn™ | +1.49 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | Walter P. Malone | +0.86 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Francesco Ferrari | +0.80 | 54 | 50 |





