








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2598 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2426 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2138 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,479 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusty | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Django NA>EU | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | rosebud | 50% | 214 |
| #4 | ExoDus | 47% | 192 |
| #5 | Camenor | 45% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ExoDus | 47% | 192 |
| #5 | Camenor | 45% | 162 |
| #6 | Ins0mnIac | 44% | 163 |
| #7 | c0smo | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | AetherealPhoenix | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExoDus | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Ins0mnIac | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | rosebud | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Camenor | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | c0smo | 3 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExoDus | 676 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | rosebud | 311 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Camenor | 283 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ins0mnIac | 211 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Django NA>EU | 186 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Django NA>EU | +2.02 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | Dusty | +1.46 | 86 | 44 |
| #3 | CashMoney1252 | +0.83 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Camenor | +0.59 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | rosebud | -0.11 | 69 | 60 |





