










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7795 | 47% |
| Smokes | 4253 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3590 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,554 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi its Kiwi | 52% | 309 |
| #2 | just.ED ♡ | 50% | 222 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 49% | 102 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 47% | 174 |
| #5 | Nörte | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi its Kiwi | 52% | 309 |
| #2 | just.ED ♡ | 50% | 222 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 49% | 102 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 47% | 174 |
| #5 | Nörte | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just.ED ♡ | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Nörte | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi its Kiwi | 889 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | just.ED ♡ | 387 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 382 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Nörte | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | FLOURiSH | 53 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | +2.89 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | +0.54 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | -0.03 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | just.ED ♡ | -0.60 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Nörte | -0.63 | 79 | 70 |





