










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1916 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2984 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2119 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,137 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi its Kiwi | 50% | 202 |
| #2 | qbX^ | 50% | 222 |
| #3 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 50% | 139 |
| #4 | FLOURiSH | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Nörte | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi its Kiwi | 50% | 202 |
| #2 | qbX^ | 50% | 222 |
| #3 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 50% | 139 |
| #4 | FLOURiSH | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Nörte | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Nörte | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | 1039 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | 655 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 338 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nörte | 48 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | FLOURiSH | 43 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | +3.11 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | +0.76 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | -0.15 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | just.ED ♡ | -0.18 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | Nörte | -0.75 | 79 | 69 |





