








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1576 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1929 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1776 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,151 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fak | 90% | 30 |
| #2 | k | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | Irfaan Ali | 71% | 28 |
| #4 | business owner | 69% | 42 |
| #5 | COME TO BRAZIL | 68% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | tig | 61% | 51 |
| #10 | Bapples | 58% | 43 |
| #11 | COME TO BRAZIL | 55% | 20 |
| #12 | PERUVIAN BUGATTI PEEK | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | BreezyF | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1ck0 | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | PERUVIAN BUGATTI PEEK | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | business owner | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | COME TO BRAZIL | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | nosnibors | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosnibors | 386 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | s1ck0 | 176 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | business owner | 150 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | COME TO BRAZIL | 123 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | COME TO BRAZIL | 107 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COME TO BRAZIL | +5.25 | 82 | 91 |
| #2 | COME TO BRAZIL | +5.22 | 77 | 86 |
| #3 | nosnibors | +4.84 | 82 | 89 |
| #4 | fak | +4.08 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | +1.72 | 75 | 69 |





