








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1019 | 24% |
| Smokes | 893 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1084 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1176 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,128 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chevrotte | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Astropolo Apéro | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | didjock | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | yzeR | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | E_G Eager | 62% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | E_G Eager | 62% | 53 |
| #6 | benjitul | 61% | 114 |
| #7 | Lord Richard Bisou | 60% | 101 |
| #8 | Fastela | 52% | 66 |
| #9 | Général Champagne | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Richard Bisou | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | didjock | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Général Champagne | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjitul | 313 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Lord Richard Bisou | 127 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | didjock | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fastela | 65 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Général Champagne | 63 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjitul | +5.23 | 61 | 72 |
| #2 | yzeR | +4.07 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | Lord Richard Bisou | +1.90 | 55 | 63 |
| #4 | Chevrotte | +1.22 | 37 | 49 |
| #5 | didjock | +0.41 | 40 | 78 |





