








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 29 | 18% |
| Smokes | 28 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $14,865 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoon Enjoyer | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | wn_ | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | d3lta | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Pixie | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bepis | 37% | 115 |
| #7 | doot | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | Raccoon | 31% | 54 |
| #9 | playerror | 20% | 15 |
| #10 | Jokerpeter | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bepis | 35 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Raccoon | 23 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | wn_ | 6 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | johnglorp1967 | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | d3lta | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doot | 92 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | bepis | 67 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | d3lta | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | wn_ | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | johnglorp1967 | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bepis | +4.21 | 82 | 30 |
| #2 | wn_ | +3.17 | 72 | 34 |
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | +1.33 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | Phoon Enjoyer | +0.60 | 38 | 58 |
| #5 | Raccoon | -0.43 | 75 | 21 |





