








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 18% |
| Smokes | 365 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1306 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,541 of utility $7 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illegal Alien | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | big bepis gaming woo | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | d3lta | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Pixie | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | doot | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | wn_ | 43% | 44 |
| #8 | playerror | 39% | 38 |
| #9 | Jokerpeter | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | vic485 | 37% | 115 |
| #11 | Raccoon | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raccoon | 28 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | wn_ | 10 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | vic485 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | d3lta | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | johnglorp1967 | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doot | 151 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | d3lta | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | wn_ | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pixie | 51 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | johnglorp1967 | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bepis | +4.23 | 83 | 29 |
| #2 | wn_ | +2.42 | 70 | 36 |
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | +0.92 | 62 | 51 |
| #4 | Raccoon | -0.52 | 76 | 22 |
| #5 | big bepis gaming woo | -0.71 | 66 | 43 |





