








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 55 | 1% |
| Smokes | 1142 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 740 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,605 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glecx ♦️♠️♥️♣ | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Spiceunit | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Cory kaljaa | 43% | 56 |
| #4 | DjDragon | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | xo | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Darktomatoes | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 33% | 15 |
| #9 | ReconSquirrel | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | Cookie Muncher | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | Honey | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cory kaljaa | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Glecx ♦️♠️♥️♣ | 7 | 0.0246 |
| #3 | xo | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | DjDragon | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Spiceunit | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjDragon | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | xo | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | AnuvaGamerGirl | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cory kaljaa | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spiceunit | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glecx ♦️♠️♥️♣ | +3.32 | 88 | 33 |
| #2 | Honey | +3.17 | 64 | 41 |
| #3 | DjDragon | +2.04 | 60 | 75 |
| #4 | xo | +1.51 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | Spiceunit | +1.27 | 63 | 56 |





