








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 603 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




333 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5471 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7360 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2940 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1852 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,325,505 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | johnny dharma | 45% | 639 |
| #7 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 44% | 272 |
| #8 | 808 crashout | 42% | 323 |
| #9 | chinese semiconductor irony | 39% | 104 |
| 35% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny dharma | 240 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | 808 crashout | 172 | 0.0275 |
| 152 | 0.0227 | ||
| 111 | 0.0442 | ||
| #5 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 63 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 crashout | 543 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | not walling just sonar | 524 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | im learning af | 520 | 0.35 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 433 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | johnny dharma | 368 | 0.03 | 12 min |





