








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3795 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5313 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6798 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7761 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,021,245 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





