








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3121 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2470 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2410 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1896 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,413 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolmius | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | Hirvi | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | puubo | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | Koutsi | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | 70 hp club soon | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unlucky | +3.89 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | 70 hp club soon | +0.18 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | puubo | +0.09 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Koutsi | +0.05 | 72 | 48 |
| #5 | Dolmius | -0.65 | 58 | 49 |





