








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3001 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3019 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3018 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2709 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,688 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DEV | 62% | 130 |
| #7 | Nakidashi | 60% | 81 |
| #8 | bigguy211 | 60% | 216 |
| #9 | d^ | 59% | 58 |
| #10 | G!B | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | DEV | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Nakidashi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | d^ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | k3x | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 785 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | DEV | 565 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Nakidashi | 231 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | d^ | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gordinator | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |





