








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1010 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 605 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 83,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35168 | 42% |
| Smokes | 25036 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 16403 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7218 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,298,544 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DEV | 56% | 892 |
| #8 | Gordinator | 53% | 339 |
| #9 | d^ | 52% | 351 |
| #10 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 52% | 147 |
| #11 | G!B | 50% | 329 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G!B | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | DEV | 13 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Gordinator | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Elefante | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | k3x | 9 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEV | 4118 | 0.23 | 88 min |
| #2 | Gordinator | 1136 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #3 | Elefante | 869 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #4 | d^ | 770 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #5 | alex | 507 | 0.19 | 15 min |





