








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 685 | 34% |
| Smokes | 665 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 256 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 423 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,265 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3x | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | d^ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | DEV | 67% | 49 |
| #4 | bigguy211 | 61% | 66 |
| #5 | Elefante | 60% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3x | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | d^ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | DEV | 67% | 49 |
| #4 | bigguy211 | 61% | 66 |
| #5 | Elefante | 60% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Elefante | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | DEV | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | d^ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elefante | 350 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | bigguy211 | 265 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | DEV | 193 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | d^ | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | k3x | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3x | +4.31 | 97 | 41 |
| #2 | Elefante | +2.74 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | DEV | +1.34 | 70 | 47 |
| #4 | Nakidashi | +0.37 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | d^ | -2.04 | 60 | 39 |





