








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 253 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2427 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3387 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3134 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2113 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,768 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3x | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Elefante | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | DEV | 57% | 216 |
| #4 | bigguy211 | 52% | 351 |
| #5 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DEV | 57% | 216 |
| #4 | bigguy211 | 52% | 351 |
| #5 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 51% | 35 |
| #6 | Gordinator | 51% | 94 |
| #7 | G!B | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 22 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | DEV | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Elefante | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | G!B | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Gordinator | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 1235 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #2 | DEV | 692 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Gordinator | 284 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Elefante | 228 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3x | +5.84 | 96 | 45 |
| #2 | Elefante | +4.51 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | DEV | +3.70 | 77 | 45 |
| #4 | G!B | +1.13 | 47 | 42 |
| #5 | Gordinator | +0.60 | 70 | 58 |





