








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 909 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7369 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6528 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5110 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5564 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,769 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Confliction | 64% | 64 |
| #2 | theCosmicdolphin | 60% | 106 |
| #3 | Beasty | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | kor | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Echoriver | 59% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rezzah | 57% | 51 |
| #8 | all cock no balls | 56% | 281 |
| #9 | ReduX | 56% | 153 |
| #10 | Mark Hoppus (Playing w/ fans!) | 56% | 129 |
| #11 | LAURSEN_111 | 55% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Echoriver | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | all cock no balls | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ReduX | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | theCosmicdolphin | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | 1351 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | all cock no balls | 889 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Mark Hoppus (Playing w/ fans!) | 670 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #4 | Echoriver | 489 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Beasty | 377 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAURSEN_111 | +1.80 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | T Money | +1.63 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | ReduX | +0.84 | 81 | 45 |
| #4 | Confliction | +0.50 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | +0.31 | 63 | 72 |





