








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2569 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3649 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2387 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,352 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Echoriver | 57% | 110 |
| #2 | T Money | 56% | 153 |
| #3 | IcyPetey2 | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | 54% | 151 |
| #5 | all cock no balls | 52% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | exigent | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | kor | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | Mark Hoppus (Playing w/ fans!) | 45% | 85 |
| #9 | XcL | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | theCosmicdolphin | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Echoriver | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | all cock no balls | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | T Money | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | IcyPetey2 | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | theCosmicdolphin | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | 783 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | T Money | 737 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | all cock no balls | 728 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Mark Hoppus (Playing w/ fans!) | 438 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | Echoriver | 300 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T Money | +2.01 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | ReduX | +1.49 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | all cock no balls | +0.51 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | XcL | +0.34 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | Brooks | CSGOKidsCasino.com | +0.28 | 58 | 75 |





