








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5126 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3258 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,844,673 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cybah | 53% | 87 |
| #2 | PotatoSamurai ジャガイモ侍 | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | dylshy | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Megakiller1080x1080 | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Fatal. | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TheSkitsOne | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | FaZe_Prodigy | 42% | 159 |
| #9 | SamWise | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | SamBox. | 39% | 94 |
| #11 | ' Deadlyyy. | 36% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe_Prodigy | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | magzy | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ' Deadlyyy. | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | SamBox. | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Megakiller1080x1080 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatal. | 592 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | SamBox. | 574 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #3 | FaZe_Prodigy | 569 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | magzy | 437 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | cybah | 401 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamBox. | +2.31 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | FaZe_Prodigy | +0.95 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | dylshy | +0.62 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | cybah | +0.51 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | Fatal. | +0.48 | 81 | 62 |





