








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 614 | 32% |
| Smokes | 303 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 715 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 276 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,394 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA6IX | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | VIK | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | wperches | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Senpai M3 | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Senpai M3 | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | cream 3.14 | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | DONPAPI | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | birdiemaster | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wperches | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | birdiemaster | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Senpai M3 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | VIK | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wperches | 167 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 124 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | VIK | 71 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | birdiemaster | 60 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | LA6IX | 29 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wperches | +3.67 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | cream 3.14 | +3.49 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | +3.29 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | LewdTenant | +0.70 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | VIK | -0.02 | 71 | 53 |





