








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9161 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7277 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6205 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3377 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,890 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cream 3.14 | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Terk | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Og Bobby Globson | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Zorro | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cream 3.14 | 509 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | Og Bobby Globson | 210 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 197 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | AyWays | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Terk | 154 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | +3.02 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | cream 3.14 | +3.01 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | AyWays | +1.05 | 45 | 61 |
| #4 | VIK | +0.92 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Og Bobby Globson | +0.85 | 66 | 61 |





