








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13687 | 36% |
| Smokes | 9845 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5996 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8073 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,483 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 61% | 88 |
| #2 | Bongo | 61% | 99 |
| #3 | sweet baby jesus | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | Azzy | 54% | 70 |
| #5 | Senpai M3 | 53% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | hashslingingslasher | 47% | 95 |
| #11 | cream 3.14 | 47% | 107 |
| #12 | timid | 44% | 50 |
| #13 | THe bron Jame | 44% | 75 |
| #14 | birdiemaster | 41% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet baby jesus | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Azzy | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Bongo | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Skadankle | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 563 | 0.34 | 16 min |
| #2 | Skadankle | 336 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bongo | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 229 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Azzy | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | +5.89 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | Bongo | +2.84 | 67 | 43 |
| #3 | wperches | +2.67 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | Azzy | +2.65 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | cream 3.14 | +1.85 | 70 | 66 |





