








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 938 | 31% |
| Smokes | 88 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 977 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1050 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,220 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | XxSCARHx | 48% | 149 |
| #5 | Jack | 46% | 184 |
| #6 | The Cynical Wanderer | 41% | 154 |
| #7 | Frazzle247 | 40% | 134 |
| #8 | k4h | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | The Cynical Wanderer | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | LHM | 7 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | XxSCARHx | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Frazzle247 | 5 | 0.0020 |





