








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2261 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2428 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,008 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Вебер™ | HunnyBoppin` | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | _#hugo. | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Shaeggi | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | ART | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | oN | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | OngDavid | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | aim4 | 50% | 96 |
| #9 | [D] [M] [W] | 49% | 130 |
| #10 | N3um30 | 48% | 131 |
| #11 | black ^:D | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [D] [M] [W] | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | aim4 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Viaschivan | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | ART | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | black ^:D | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [D] [M] [W] | 868 | 0.30 | 21 min |
| #2 | aim4 | 548 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #3 | N3um30 | 478 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | Viaschivan | 321 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | ART | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OngDavid | +1.72 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | ✪Вебер™ | HunnyBoppin` | +1.65 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | MrGamejunky | +0.39 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | aim4 | +0.09 | 39 | 82 |
| #5 | N3um30 | +0.09 | 58 | 74 |





