








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 722 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5598 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3985 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3199 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,791 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ©PeCkZ© | 55% | 22 |
| #10 | kev | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | Toastyy-- | 52% | 29 |
| #12 | chanj | 51% | 35 |
| #13 | JesseP | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | davd | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Moopy | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | NICKHALDEN | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | wes | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Toastyy-- | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moopy | 1393 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #2 | davd | 698 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | NICKHALDEN | 573 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #4 | Stx | 265 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Leo | 198 | 0.32 | 4 min |





