








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4955 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3760 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2091 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1978 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,600 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tutel | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | zyk0 | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | brad | 58% | 104 |
| #4 | Sundown | 57% | 105 |
| #5 | Grubb | 53% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grubb | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Sundown | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | FreshMeatForDays | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | brad | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | zyk0 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grubb | 624 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sundown | 444 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | brad | 382 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | FreshMeatForDays | 188 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | zyk0 | 133 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sundown | +3.06 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | brad | +2.23 | 92 | 61 |
| #3 | Grubb | +1.96 | 60 | 67 |
| #4 | Tutel | +1.60 | 88 | 74 |
| #5 | kudo | +1.35 | 72 | 65 |





