








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 668 | 31% |
| Smokes | 579 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 358 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,889 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie Muncher | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Disaster | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | DjDragon | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | LunaR | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Spiceunit | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spiceunit | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | Bane | 67% | 42 |
| #7 | reginald | 65% | 26 |
| #8 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 53% | 40 |
| #9 | Photo | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Bane | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | reginald | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Spiceunit | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | DjDragon | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 160 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bane | 53 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | reginald | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Photo | 27 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Spiceunit | 22 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LunaR | +5.88 | 94 | 69 |
| #2 | Disaster | +2.61 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | Spiceunit | +2.38 | 59 | 9 |
| #4 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +1.97 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Styl0 | +1.61 | 71 | 61 |





