








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 231 | 28% |
| Smokes | 266 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,277 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Photo | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Cre1ds | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | 何 | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Bane | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | Styl0 | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Axelsson | 67% | 3 |
| #7 | Peggyyyyy | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | Triux | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | Select | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | We Shall Not Grow Old | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 何 | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Styl0 | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Peggyyyyy | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bane | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | 何 | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Cre1ds | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Triux | 9 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Select | 6 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Photo | +6.10 | 47 | 61 |
| #2 | Cre1ds | +4.34 | 94 | 52 |
| #3 | LunaR | +3.86 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | Bane | +1.82 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | Styl0 | +1.41 | 67 | 48 |





