








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1257 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2856 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,931 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KLAAS | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | Caribou de ficelle | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Dowpse | 45% | 86 |
| #9 | Boule Roses | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | Foffy | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dowpse | 32 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | FrançoisXFrançois | 27 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 26 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | Caliaca | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | KLAAS | 12 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLAAS | 394 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #2 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 176 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Foffy | 165 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | FrançoisXFrançois | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Caliaca | 129 | 0.06 | 2 min |





