








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 494 | 22% |
| Smokes | 715 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 677 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,630 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dioxyde ☣ | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | DTF Reaper | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Dixxie | 46% | 63 |
| #4 | FishStick | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | DINKleberg | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DTF Reaper | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Dixxie | 46% | 63 |
| #4 | FishStick | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | DINKleberg | 42% | 57 |
| #6 | Beetie | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dixxie | 35 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | FishStick | 19 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | DINKleberg | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Beetie | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DINKleberg | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | FishStick | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dixxie | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | DTF Reaper | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | dioxyde ☣ | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8bit- | +2.14 | 54 | 59 |
| #2 | DINKleberg | +1.43 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Dixxie | +0.89 | 72 | 37 |
| #4 | dioxyde ☣ | -0.70 | 58 | 25 |
| #5 | DTF Reaper | -1.64 | 50 | 50 |





