








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1437 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1494 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,445 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 8bit- | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | DINKleberg | 45% | 250 |
| #6 | Dixxie | 41% | 258 |
| #7 | Beetie | 33% | 174 |
| #8 | SnekTheLad | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DINKleberg | 704 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dixxie | 131 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | 8bit- | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | DTF Reaper | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | SnekTheLad | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |





