








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1128 | 45% |
| Smokes | 653 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 488 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,801 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nastradamus | 26 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | Bunger? | 24 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Ocean Breeze | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | SMALLBOYROY | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | NoochM | 9 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunger? | 241 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | SMALLBOYROY | 226 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nastradamus | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | NoochM | 128 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | TRAMAMPOLINE | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoochM | +3.10 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Nastradamus | +2.20 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | intact <>< | +1.32 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | TRAMAMPOLINE | +0.81 | 55 | 52 |
| #5 | 300㏙ | -0.25 | 53 | 17 |





