








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 854 matches | ||
| Wingman | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




186 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10647 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8090 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6294 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7010 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,795,915 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoochM | 42% | 271 |
| #2 | Nastradamus | 42% | 384 |
| #3 | 300㏙ | 41% | 93 |
| #4 | TheRealDamage | 39% | 64 |
| #5 | Ocean Breeze | 39% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 300㏙ | 41% | 93 |
| #4 | TheRealDamage | 39% | 64 |
| #5 | Ocean Breeze | 39% | 160 |
| #6 | TRAMAMPOLINE | 38% | 165 |
| #7 | Bunger? | 33% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nastradamus | 184 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | NoochM | 68 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Ocean Breeze | 23 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Bunger? | 15 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | TheRealDamage | 12 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nastradamus | 1149 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | NoochM | 537 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Bunger? | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | TRAMAMPOLINE | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ocean Breeze | 83 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nastradamus | +3.14 | 56 | 61 |
| #2 | NoochM | +2.97 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | TRAMAMPOLINE | +1.49 | 59 | 52 |
| #4 | TheRealDamage | +0.90 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Ocean Breeze | -0.44 | 46 | 35 |





